Last year’s post on anagrams was one of my favorites. English is a weird language, and taking a weird language and making it do weird things is fun.
Anagrams, if you’ve forgotten or are new to the blog, are “A word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase,” according to Wordsmith.org. Some people think anagrams can reveal a deeper truth about something, and maybe they’re on to something. If you “anagrammize” Clint Eastwood (rearrange the letters), you find “Old West Action.” Kinda creepy, huh?
Last year’s undisputed anagram champion was Don Barclay, whose name is an anagram for “Carnal Body.” And if you look at a picture of ol’ Don, you’ll agree he definitely has a carnal body.
In that same vein, here are a few more weird anagrams from the Packers. Does anybody match up to Barclay?
Omarius Hines – Romaine Sushi – Sounds delicious.
Vince Young – Connive Guy – Vince Young is vying for a roster spot right now, and he’s got to connive for all he’s worth. So connive, guy!
Kevin Dorsey – Kidneys Rove – Whatever your kidneys do, you don’t want them to rove. Don’t rove, kidneys.
Myles White – Seemly Whit – The great thing about rookie receivers is they have such seemly wit. Or whit. Whatevs is what the kids say, I think.
DuJuan Harris – Raja Duh Ruins – When DuJuan Harris is done with football, he can start a career as a reggae/hip-hop crossover artist by the name of Raja Duh Ruins. Seems like it would fit.
Eddie Lacy – Caddie Lye – Are your caddies dirty? Spruce them up with Caddie Lye! Alternatively, now that he lives in Wisconsin, Eddie Lacy might encounter some “Deadly Ice” for the first time. Let’s hope not.
Brandon Smith – Bondman Shirt – When you need something durable to wear during your training camp position battle, pull out your Bondman Shirt!
Loyce Means – Camel Nosey – Like the old saying goes, once the Camel Nosey gets into the tent…or something.
Angelo Pease – Seaplane Ego – It might not seem like it, but the soft-spoken Pease has a Seaplane Ego, and that’s never something you want. Ever. On the other hand, whenever he gets a carry, A Eagle Opens. It does. Believe it.
Jake Stoneburner – A Unbroken Jester – No matter how hard training camp gets, Stoneburner remains A Unbroken Jester.
Andy Mulumba – Mamba Unduly – Like Stoneburner and his unbroken jestering, Mulumba’s response to the difficult days of camp is to Mamba Unduly.
Jarvis Reed – Jade Rivers – There’s no joke here. Jade Rivers just sounds cool. She’s probably a secret agent or something. Or…yeah, you know what, let’s just leave that alone.
Sam Barrington – A Barnstorming – You know what we need around here? A Barnstorming! Let’s have a good old fashioned barnstorming.
Patrick Lewis – Spectral Kiwi – When I stop writing this Packers blog and start my experimental prog rock band, it’s going to be called Spectral Kiwi.
Lane Taylor – Anally Tore – I’m not saying anything.
Kevin Hughes – Huge Knives – Hughes’ secret to keeping the rest of the locker room in line comes down to one thing: Huge Knives. Huge, I tell you.
Tyrone Walker – Relay Network – Walker is the network by which the football is relayed to the end zone. Hopefully.
Donte Savage – Agenda Votes – You know what’s keeping stuff from getting done in Congress? All those Agenda Votes. Maybe Donte Savage knows something about that.
And there you have it. Your 2013 Green Bay Packers Anagram Collection. Lane Taylor probably should win some kind of prize, but I don’t think he really wants to talk about it.