Packergrams 2014

Hail, oh anagram king.

Hail, oh anagram king.

By Jon Meerdink

Anagrams have played a vital role in the traffic of this ol’ blog since the first year we were around. And for good reason! They’re hilarious.

If you need a refresher, anagrams are words that spell different words if you take the letters of the original word and rearrange them. For instance, if you rearrange Clint Eastwood you find “Old West Action” and if you rearrange Barack Obama, you get Maraca Kabob, which is funny, because funny words are funny.

Anyhow, it’s a tradition to welcome the Packers’ newcomers by finding out what secrets their names hold. Here are the highlights. Do any of them stack up to last year’s winner, Lane Taylor? How about the all-time champion Don “Carnal Body” Barclay? I think Luther Robinson makes a strong case, but let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Alex Gillett – Illegal Text – I can’t imagine what an illegal text would be, but I don’t think sending one would be conducive to Mr. Gillett earning a roster spot.

Chase Rettig – Teaches Trig – Well, at least he has a fallback plan.

Davante Adams – Avast, Dead Man – This does not bode well.

Jumal Rolle – Mural Jello – The best kind of mural. Also, the best kind of Jello.

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix – Inland Hoax Itch – This sounds like a fictional 18th century ailment that snakeoil salesmen tried to battle with mysterious elixirs.

Charles Clay – Clearly Cash – Move over Ha Ha. Micah Hyde? Nope. The solution at safety is Charles Clay, because he’s Clearly Cash.

Raijon Neal – A Ninja Role – If Raijon Neal can’t find a spot in the Packers backfield, perhaps he can find A Ninja Role somewhere else.

Demetri Goodson – Dingoes Motored – Try not to picture a pack of dingoes riding mopeds.

Joke Doughty – Death Jog Yuk – I think i’d come up with a stronger reaction if someone wanted to send me on a death jog.

Adrian Hubbard – A Rhubarb Add-In – Every baking recipe can be improved with a rhubarb add-in.

Andrew Tiller – Leader Twirl – What good is being at the head of the pack if you don’t throw out a little Leader Twirl now and then?

Carlos Gray – Rascal Gyro – Like a normal gyro, only harder to get your hands on.

Justin Perillo – Jollier Inputs – Of all the additions to the roster this year, Justin Perillo was one of the jollier inputs.

Jared Abbrederis – Jabberers Raided – “What happened here last night?” “It was terrible…the Jabberers Raided.”

Khyri Thornton – Honk North I Try – It sounds like the least inspiring attempt to get rescued from the wilderness.

Luther Robinson – Horrible No Nuts – If his third grade classmates had known about anagrams, they would have called him this.

Letroy Guion – Eulogy Intro – Every graveside speech needs a beginning, I guess.

 

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One thought on “Packergrams 2014

  1. Aaron says:

    awesome

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